I was born and raised with animals. At one point in my childhood, I remember having 5 cats, 2 dogs, 1 turtle, and a couple of birds (they didn´t survive for long having 5 cats….) Now as an adult, I choose to live with cats. My dream would be to live with many cats and rescue them from the shelters, especially those grandpa/grandma cats who … Continue reading Obsessed with my panthers
So.. as repetitive as this sounds, I made one more collage and the same topic came up: my addiction. Is hard to admit to myself that there is a need of using non-stop and that I lost control. So this is how it starts: blank cardboard, magazines, and random images that I keep in boxes. At the back of the desk, there’s a collage of … Continue reading Fumeta
Every time is the same feeling, knowing that I have an addiction and not being able to face it and do something about it. Another weekend passed, and I smoked, ate, slept, and did absolutely nothing, not even taking a shower or washing my face. Makes me feel disgusted. I feel like life is passing me by, and I’m not getting any younger. I will … Continue reading Are you able to stay clean?
By the end of 2020, I thought it was an amazing idea to grow my own cannabis. I bought the indoors kit and I enjoyed the process of growing my plants. Checking on them every day, having that commitment with them, was a special experience, as I saw them bloom. However, sometimes I asked myself whether this was the worst idea ever.I smoked in the … Continue reading My Somango
This hobby started when covid first hit and lockdown was mandatory everywhere.I´m happy it continued, it makes me feel happy. I never considered myself a creative type of person. Maybe if lockdown hasn´t occurred, I would have never had the time to explore this type of activity. I was always too worried about wasting time. There is a process of asking myself a question, and … Continue reading Contes de la vera veritat
I haven´t been posting, or writing at all. There was a part of me that didn´t feel like sharing. I´m still feeling the same way, but I think the fact of turning 40 soon has something to do with it. It feels ok to be an introvert. There was one thing that I didn´t stop doing and that is making collages. I like to set … Continue reading My 40 turning-point?
This post took literally a year to be written. The first part was written during 2021 when my job location and my daily routine was different. The second part was written during 2022, where many thing are different, but my addition has not changed. From November 2021 to September 2022 I stopped writing, no WordPress, not even logging in. I kept the basic free WordPress, … Continue reading Trying not to smoke today
So, I’m trying to be a bit creative with all the weed I got. I went through many online recipes about making cannabis oil and I ended trying on that seemed easy to start with. Mixing olive oil with Somango seemed like a good way to start. First, I weighed 5 gr of Cannabis and got a nice Eco olive oil. So I learned that … Continue reading Making cannabis-infused olive oil
When I made this collage many things were happening in my life. On one side, my company was moving outside of the city and that meant a huge change for me when it comes to my daily transportation. On the other side, my brother moved to Spain, to my apartment in Barcelona. At work we needed a extra hand, so I got him a job … Continue reading I´m building a fucking building
The last time I posted something was April 11th. I just didn’t feel like sharing anymore. I lost interest completely, and this is something that has been happening to me for the last couple of years. I start something, I work hard for 1 to 3 months, then I turn the page and forget about it. However, I have to remind myself that when I … Continue reading WTF
I need stimulants all the time. If I´m very honest to myself, I take psychiatric medication in the morning, smoke cannabis every day, both CBD and THC, and drink lots of beverages with natural caffeine. For the last 10 years, I take 20 milligrams of Prozac in the morning. That was prescribed at the moment and it helps with other physical anxieties I have, but … Continue reading I am an addict?
The name of this post has 2 meanings: On one hand, it’s the collage I made as a birthday present for my good friend Gala, and on the other hand, she chose one of Dali art work named “The wines of Gala and of Gods”. So it felt appropriate to name it like this. As usual, it started in my living room table, where I … Continue reading Gala
I absolutely love my plants. Is a process that challenges me each day, but gives me so much satisfaction. My girls started to grow slowly. I placed them on top of the pots where I was going to transplant them later. I thought maybe the Led was too far away. Some of them started to die. Now I know all the things I was doing … Continue reading The evolution of my Cannabis Indoors
I really enjoy making a collage for friends. They choose their own images and I connect those images creating something new. One year ago, this pandemic started and I found myself with a lot of time in my hands. I have over 20 collages at home. I’ve been able to collect so many images coming from magazines, paper wraps, postcards, old photos, which is a … Continue reading I keep making personalized collages as birthday presents for good friends
My last post was on Feb 10th and I have to admit the last couple of weeks were very difficult. I was very depressed, my feelings were all over the place. I would cry in the shower, I would cry in the morning, or even on the bus. It’s funny how as an adult, I can continue to work and live my life, without showing … Continue reading Hiding for a couple of weeks
There are different definitions of self-sabotage, but the one that impacted me the most was this one: “The act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly” That is how I feel about myself when it comes to relationships or getting involved emotionally with someone, I always fuck it up. There is something about my behavior that changes, and it … Continue reading Do you self-sabotage?
So it was my roommate’s birthday, and I wanted to try this for a while. To give a collage as a present, where the person chooses the images, and I represent something afterward. This is how it started. I have images already cut, kept in different boxes, so it is very easy to choose. A joint and Apolo are always part of the picture. . Continue reading Making a collage as a present for someone with images I recycle and they choose
I think about Chip often, and I ask myself if maybe I overreacted. The thing is that he made me feel upset. I needed something from someone who couldn´t give me more or didn´t want to. I´m always telling my friends to surround themselves with people who have a positive effect on their lives. Sometimes we need to listen to ourselves when we advise others. … Continue reading What if…?
First, I had Netflix for a couple of years until I was bored of it. Then I subscribed for the free trial for HBO, and after the first month, I decided to keep it. During 2020 and the Covid surprise, I ended up having both at the same time. Last December, I was trying to save money as well as using my time in a … Continue reading Netflix, HBO or Amazon Video Prime?
This month was full of ups and downs, emotionally speaking.We are very busy at work, but the moving of location is not fully confirmed yet, and we can all feel the stress in the air. We are still closed to the students and continue the online lessons until Feb 7th. However, it looks like a lockdown is coming, Covid cases in Spain continue to increase. … Continue reading The Ups and Downs of January 2021
I´m always asking myself this type of question. I was depressed for many years and it was difficult to enjoy life in general. Now that I´m older, I found many tools that help me appreciate life and I don´t feel depressed anymore. However, I´m always analyzing my behavior, is like constantly checking for red flags, in case that feeling becomes overwhelming again. So whenever something … Continue reading Why do we do the things we do?
I liked this guy, but he is too complicated and he is giving me a headache. I don´t quite understand his behavior, but is definitely passive aggressive. He doesn´t say no to see me, but he is always too busy to arrange a day and makes sure to emphasize how little important I ‘am. If you want to see someone, you make the time for … Continue reading Man can easily give me a fucking headache
So December 2020 was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but not in a negative way. I created the Worldpress account on a Saturday and by Sunday I had the website live. I started to write very personal posts, I felt like a fucking machine. I guess that´s what its like to feel inspired. All sort of things were coming out, like stories from 10 … Continue reading Get out of your comfort zone
I’m talking about something very specific, our friend who visits us every month. Each time is different, some months I don’t have any pain, my emotions are in place and some months is a Greek tragedy. January feels that way. The physical pain is bearable, but my emotions are out of balance. I feel like nothing makes sense and is really hard to leave my … Continue reading It’s difficult being a woman
Of course, that when I’m not high I´m much faster and sharp, but overall I can manage to do anything. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t drive or put myself or others at risk. But I talk about the everyday routines, walks, cooking, cleaning, doing my collages, doing laundry. All those activities that you know by heart already. However, sometimes I wonder how much weed … Continue reading I´m a highly-functional smoker
So today I was going back to work after the Christmas holidays. I was having mix feelings. On one hand I was happy to go back, but on the other hand I was feeling super lazy. Is very cold in Barcelona. Who doesn’t love staying in bed in winter? This is the first time ever I have a part time job and I’m definitely underpay. … Continue reading Starting 2021
I never wanted to tell my parents I was molested when I was a child. I tried to protect them from the pain. A therapist once asked me: “Who was protecting young Cata love when the abuse was happening?”. I was the child and they were the adults. She said I kept inverting the roles. I kept it as a secret for so many years. … Continue reading Blogging is saving me thousands on therapy
Today I was down when I woke up. It was difficult to get out of bed. I was hungry, but I couldn’t move. I was cuddling Apolo and it felt so good I wanted to last forever. I had that feeling of sadness and laziness. I just wanted to stay in a horizontal position all day long. One therapist once said to me “Don´t let … Continue reading Horizonal position
No idea how this year will be. Is a different world and my life is different as well. It will take a while until we go back to the “normal life” , but what if that life never comes back? Before the pandemic I always had this feeling that something was going to happen. The world was becoming more and more fucked up, it was … Continue reading Welcome 2021
It´s the third year on a road. Since I settled down in Barcelona in 2017. Prior to Bcn, I have always spent New Years with roommates, co-workers, in parties. There were always people involved. There´s a beauty in having this privacy. Usually New Years are kind of emotional for me. Not in a way bad, but I get more introvert. This year have made changes … Continue reading I actually like spending New Years by myself
It was 2011, after being heartbroken, I was too emotionally drained to pack my bags and leave again. So I stayed in my home country for a year and a half. I rented an apartment in Palermo, Buenos Aires with one of my best friends. He was gay and called me “his marida”. I worked for almost a year in an HR job and things … Continue reading The time I had a gun pointed at my head and I was still fired from the fucking Coffee Chain
If if was difficult to find a partner pre-pandemic, how difficult is it going to be post-pandemic? Don´t you feel lonely sometimes? Is always me against the world, but I wonder how would it feel if it was us? Maybe we should start dating with a mask on. But did you notice how much of a difference it makes when you can see someone´s full … Continue reading Are we now dating with a mask on?