Are you able to stay clean?

Every time is the same feeling, knowing that I have an addiction and not being able to face it and do something about it. Another weekend passed, and I smoked, ate, slept, and did absolutely nothing, not even taking a shower or washing my face. Makes me feel disgusted. I feel like life is passing me by, and I’m not getting any younger. I will … Continue reading Are you able to stay clean?

Trying not to smoke today

This post took literally a year to be written. The first part was written during 2021 when my job location and my daily routine was different. The second part was written during 2022, where many thing are different, but my addition has not changed. From November 2021 to September 2022 I stopped writing, no WordPress, not even logging in. I kept the basic free WordPress, … Continue reading Trying not to smoke today

Do you self-sabotage?

There are different definitions of self-sabotage, but the one that impacted me the most was this one: “The act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work correctly” That is how I feel about myself when it comes to relationships or getting involved emotionally with someone, I always fuck it up. There is something about my behavior that changes, and it … Continue reading Do you self-sabotage?

The Ups and Downs of January 2021

This month was full of ups and downs, emotionally speaking.We are very busy at work, but the moving of location is not fully confirmed yet, and we can all feel the stress in the air. We are still closed to the students and continue the online lessons until Feb 7th. However, it looks like a lockdown is coming, Covid cases in Spain continue to increase. … Continue reading The Ups and Downs of January 2021

Why do we do the things we do?

I´m always asking myself this type of question. I was depressed for many years and it was difficult to enjoy life in general. Now that I´m older, I found many tools that help me appreciate life and I don´t feel depressed anymore. However, I´m always analyzing my behavior, is like constantly checking for red flags, in case that feeling becomes overwhelming again. So whenever something … Continue reading Why do we do the things we do?

Blogging is saving me thousands on therapy

I never wanted to tell my parents I was molested when I was a child. I tried to protect them from the pain. A therapist once asked me: “Who was protecting young Cata love when the abuse was happening?”. I was the child and they were the adults. She said I kept inverting the roles. I kept it as a secret for so many years. … Continue reading Blogging is saving me thousands on therapy

January 2020 versus December 2020

I started this year being on the edge of an emotional breakdown. I had a corporate job that I worked really hard to get. It was the job that I thought would be my dream job. I actually hated everything about it. Back on January 2020, I was trying really hard not to show my disappointment at work and I’m a good actress. It was … Continue reading January 2020 versus December 2020