My last post was on Feb 10th and I have to admit the last couple of weeks were very difficult. I was very depressed, my feelings were all over the place. I would cry in the shower, I would cry in the morning, or even on the bus. It’s funny how as an adult, I can continue to work and live my life, without showing … Continue reading Hiding for a couple of weeks
I liked this guy, but he is too complicated and he is giving me a headache. I don´t quite understand his behavior, but is definitely passive aggressive. He doesn´t say no to see me, but he is always too busy to arrange a day and makes sure to emphasize how little important I ‘am. If you want to see someone, you make the time for … Continue reading Man can easily give me a fucking headache
Back in 2010, after working at Ski Resorts for 6 years doing winters back-to-back, I decided it was time for some sunshine. I had a degree in Hospitality management, so I thought it could be fun to work at a hotel. I applied as an intern and I got the internship in a beautiful island in the Florida Keys. The place was huge, with hotel … Continue reading The Female Barry
What I´m talking about is when you meet someone you like and things look to flow well. You get a bit excited and I´m all in when it comes to fantasize my entire life with that person. I have a big imagination. On the outside, I will never admit this. I don´t show myself as someone who needs anyone. However, in my fantasies, I do. … Continue reading The process of cutting him off
If if was difficult to find a partner pre-pandemic, how difficult is it going to be post-pandemic? Don´t you feel lonely sometimes? Is always me against the world, but I wonder how would it feel if it was us? Maybe we should start dating with a mask on. But did you notice how much of a difference it makes when you can see someone´s full … Continue reading Are we now dating with a mask on?
I know this guy for 2 or 3 years. He works at one of my cannabis clubs. Every time I went to the club, I looked at him closely. He is tall and very thin. At the beginning what I noticed the most was how heavily tattooed he was: his neck, his head, his hands. Whenever I stopped by the club I wondered if he … Continue reading Why is it so difficult to connect?
It was 2006, I was 25 years old. It was my second season at the Ski Resort in California. I loved my job, loved the people, I was happy. There was this ski instructor at work. He was English, but was born in Hong Kong and he always called himself “Chino M”. I didn´t work as an instructor, I worked in Admin, therefore, I used … Continue reading “The Chino M”
It was 2012. After staying at my home country for a year and a half, I was ready to get the fuck out of there. One of my dream jobs was to work at a cruise ship. I did some research in the past on how to apply, and I knew it was from your home country. The timing was perfect. I found the opportunity, … Continue reading “The Canadian love-machine”
Why not? For me, is a perfect plan. I´m used to being alone, although I live with my cat and he is the best partner to be honest. I have always kept a distance between me and other people. I´m not attached to people, family or friends. I can easily live with a huge ocean in between us and not be upset about it. The … Continue reading Sunday Morning joint while wearing lingerie by myself at home
If you ask me a number, I have no fucking idea. I tried once to make a list, but I had so many one night stands that I lost track. Alcohol was heavily involved and sex was mediocre, so does this even count? Of course it does, but it goes straight to the “black list of fucks”. People might ask: If you were molested as … Continue reading What if I don’t know how many guys I fucked
I met this guy and I thought that maybe it was happening again. I was going to be able to share more with someone that just a good fuck. But it didn´t happen. Why is it that for some people is so difficult to connect on a physical level and for others is on the emotional level? I can´t help feeling sorry for myself sometimes. … Continue reading Another brick in the wall
Well, I never ever thought in a million years that I would be blogging. But I also never ever thought that I would be this age, and I would still struggle with the same shit. What do I talk about when I say shit? I talk about the feeling of not fitting in. I look like everybody else, but I always feel out of place. … Continue reading Why are you blogging?
I love to fantasize about everything. I create huge stories in my head and I´m so into it. So many expectations are created through this process, that I get exhausted by just thinking about it. It happens a lot with man. I have the face that I show to the outside which is I don´t need anyone and leave me the fuck alone. And I … Continue reading I´m a fantasy machine
Don’t you agree? Even if I wanted to find a partner, life keeps pushing them away. I´m never the one they choose for one reason or another one. Sometimes I fuck things up with my out-of-control emotions, and sometimes I´m not much into them so I walk away. If you heard of Quino, I have never been a “Susanita”. In my life goals, becoming a … Continue reading There’s nothing wrong with being single